THE COST OF BEING CRITICAL

Few things will put us in a spiritual wilderness to wonder faster, than a critical spirit. A critical spirit zaps all the joy out of our spiritual walk and leaves us with a dry and dessert feeling, as we find ourselves wondering around trying to figure out exactly what happened to our peace and spiritual joy. Like a slow toxic poison, it digs down deep within us and spreads through our heart and into our minds until we become cynical and downright, an “ugly person”. The consequences of our critical attitudes begin to show up and often times, others notice them in us before we do.

God warns us about being critical, because He loves us and wants to protect us from the awful consequences that He knows will take place in our lives if we do not take His advice. For He knows far better than we do, that we will fall in to the “emotional roller coaster effect”, that being critical always brings into our lives. If, it is our desire as a child of God, to walk with Him, then we must be more mindful of what we say to and about others, by taking the higher ground and keeping our mouths closed and our hearts under the submission and Lordship of Jesus Christ. How we treat others, or see things from God’s perspective and not our own. Maybe we would do better to vent in prayer, than to vent to others with our sad discourses of how we may feel in a situation.

I have never really seen a situation get better, over someone venting in the flesh. But I have however, seen the devastation it has reeked in the lives of people who continue, to never learn to adhere to the warnings found in the scripture, to remain silent and let the Lord do the vindicating on everyone’s behalf. God is at work in our life. He is elbow deep in trying to help us. We should be ever thankful for that, and our gratitude to Him for it, is to surrender to His chisel in what He wants to accomplish in us.

Complaining is not just a habit that we work on kicking, but a perspective and frame of mind that we strive to change. Our feeling as though we are living in a wilderness comes from the fact that we turn from all that we’ve received and focus on what we still want or need. You don’t stop complaining by taping your mouth, but by replacing those complaints with words of gratitude to God. Focus on those things that draw you to God and not what turns you away from Him. Are you finding it hard to be thankful for your job right now? If so, call up someone who is looking for a job. Are you being critical of people that are on your last nerve? The Scripture tells us to pray for them and be kind to them, are you doing that, or lashing out hateful venom over your situation to them or maybe others concerning them? Being grateful and kind are not simple courtesies that we offer to God and others. It’s way more than that! It’s outright obedience to the Word of God. Ingratitude will take you nowhere. Having an attitude of gratitude reflects to God and others that your heart is crucified to pride and selfishness.

Being grateful is seeing yourself as a benefactor of someone else’s grace and your humility is the healthy soil that nourishes that grace and keeps your light reflecting Him, who you call, “Heavenly Father”. Philippians 2:14-15 14. Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15. that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…

Loving on you today,

Bren

HAVE YOU BEEN STIRRED, BUT NOT CHANGED?

When I was a little girl, I often times played house with old mason jars and their lids in our back yard. In my role play, I would pretend to can vegetables as I saw my mother doing it.  In my mason jar lids, I would place leaves on top of the mud and after they dried, would leave a beautiful impression of the leaf. I would also place dirt in a jar of water and stir it up. At first glance it gave the appearance of a chocolate milk consistency as the clear water mixed with the dirt. When I was through pretend playing, I would walk away, returning the next day to pick up where I had left off. The mixture in the jar I noticed, while at first appeared to have changed after I had stirred it, overnight would settle back to look exactly like it did before I mixed the water and dirt together. The muddy sediment was once again at the bottom of the jar, while the water was at the top.

As a young girl, it always amazed me how no matter how hard I stirred that mixture up, it always settled back to the way it was before I stirred it.  Upon reminiscing of those days, I am reminded about the Apostle Paul when he had stirred the heart of King Agrippa, yet the king was never changed. There have been books written, sermons preached, songs sung and warnings given throughout time about how the power of persuasion, when it reaches its fullness can overwhelm and even bring about brokenness into an individual’s life, especially if it is God who is doing the persuading. But sometimes, no matter how much we are persuaded in a thing, it may never move us to change. Almost persuaded, King Agrippa II said to Paul, in Acts 26, upon hearing Paul’s testimony, as he defended himself for being accused of apostasy. “Almost you persuade me to be a Christian”, the King said. Paul had turned his defense into an opportunity to preach the gospel to a group of elite political rulers who were very skeptical in what Paul had to say. In Acts 25, King Agrippa II had heard about Paul and wanted to hear his defense. Upon hearing Paul, the King uttered some of the most sorrowful words in scripture, as he responded to Paul’s discourse. He told Paul that in hearing his testimony, he was almost persuaded to believe him to the point of becoming a Christian himself. Yet we know that according to scripture, he did not.

King Agrippa II came from a very sinful family. He was the seventh and last King of the Herod Family. He was a descendant of Herod the Great. His family tree was infested with an evil satanic influence. His great grandfather Herod the Great who in searching to find the Christ child, ordered a great number of babies killed in his failed attempt to kill the baby Jesus. King Agrippa II’s father was Agrippa I, also known as Herod Agrippa or simply Herod. In Acts 12 Herod Agrippa stirred the wrath of God because he allowed himself to be exalted as an equal with God. An angel struck him down and he was eaten by worms. He also had the apostle James beheaded and had tried to kill Peter. Adultery and incest rotted away at his family tree. Agrippa II’s uncle, Herod Antipas, divorced his wife to marry the former wife of his brother. It was this Herod who was responsible for the beheading of John the Baptist.

Being accused of apostasy, the Jewish leaders accused Paul of opposing their law, as well as the great Caesar himself. He was guilty of none of those charges and demanded that he be tried in Rome as a Roman citizen. King Agrippa and his sister Bernice were in Caesarea to visit Festus, the new governor. King Agrippa had no children of his own and was in an incestuous relationship with his sister Bernice at this time. Festus asked King Agrippa II what charges he should send on to Rome against Paul. King Agrippa asked that Paul be brought to him. It is believed that Paul was small in stature, bald with thick eye brows and possibly knobby knees. Yet he stood humble and full of grace before kings and governors as he began boldly to declare Christ to them. Paul told Agrippa that he was a proud follower of this same Jesus who had been tortured, died and rose again. He pointed to his resurrection as proof that he was the Messiah. Paul was saying, that he was not an apostate Jew, but a Christian. He was not against the law. The law was fulfilled in the Christ that he preached. He revealed his experience along the road to Damascus. “I was blinded but now I see more clearly than ever before.” Paul then looked directly into the eyes of the king and told him,  “King Agrippa, you are an expert on Jewish affairs, you know the law. You know the story of Jesus and you are aware of his death and resurrection. Will you agree with me and testify to Festus that the things I say are true?” and Agrippa’s sad and disturbing reply still echoes through the hearts of men and women throughout the ages. He responded to Paul by saying, “Almost you persuade me to be a Christian.” Almost, but not quite.

Agrippa’s heart was so stirred by the truths that Paul was laying before him yet, while Agrippa was convinced of those truths, his flesh chose to deny what he knew to be truth out of the fear of what it may cost him, should he accept it and pronounces it as truth.  That my friend is why men, women boys and girls today reject the truth when they are confronted with it. There is always a cost and for many, they are simply unwilling to pay it. While Christ paid the penalty for our sins we must pay the cost of accepting or rejecting the work that He did for us when we are confronted with it. Some may say, it does not cost us anything….but my friend it cost us to deny ourselves and take up our cross and follow Him in whatever it may be. That is why so many are unwilling…because they understand that it will cost them something if they accept the free gift that God offers through His Son. Many are stirred, but only few will dare to be changed! Many are like the dirt in the glass, when they are confronted with truth, it moves them or stirs them for a better word, but in the end, they settle back into what they are comfortable with and say, “Whew, I was almost persuaded!”

May we always be persuaded…

Loving you today,

Bren

Lukewarm Complacency

Lukewarm Complacency – Part 1

Sometimes God’s children fall into spiritual ruts. They seem to be going through the motions of being a child of God, but without passion or a genuine feeling of the closeness that they have had in the past, to the Lord. I admit, that I have found myself in that situation myself. It is in those times that we lose our excitement about the things of God and even damage our relationship with Him. While we do not reject Him altogether, we find ourselves in a very uncomfortable situation, for a while any ways. It is that in-between, not wholly with the world, but not totally in love with God either place. This place the scripture refers to as spiritual complacency, being lukewarm and straddling the spiritual fence. This may not be your  problem right now, but sometime in your Christian life, you will be, if you are not very careful to guard yourself by being filled daily and walking in the Holy Spirit. All of us have the tendency to slip into a lukewarm spiritual state. Instead of being the thermostat, we become a thermometer. When everything is going well and we don’t need anything, it’s very tempting to let our guards down assuming that it will always be grand. In Revelations 3:14-22, Jesus wrote a letter to the church in Laodicea, a church located in Turkey. He told them that they were spiritually complacent: “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” Jesus is telling us to not be content in that condition. Get up, move out! He stand ready and waiting to help us out of that retched state, but we must desire Him more than anything else. You see it’s always “things’ trip us up and get us sidetracked. Don’t become so lukewarm that you like that common place you may be in. Be ready to pick up and move on to a higher spiritual calling. (continued next week)

Hold Fast,

Bren

Lukewarm Complacency – Part 2

Last week I encouraged you not to visit the land of the lukewarm. The place where you become spiritually content. That place where you feel neither hot nor cold for the Lord, just lukewarm. To be lukewarm means, to be indifferent and undecided. You haven’t resolved to do something. You are not passionately invested in a cause. Nothing you do seems to motivate you to exert yourself. When we are lukewarm spiritually, the progress of God’s work is not as important to us as much as it may have been in the past. Outwardly, we may seem to be doing quite well. We may seem to be happy and satisfied, and are committed to our routine of Christian life. However, we dislike anything that “rocks our boat.” We just like the way things are. We are comfortable and feel like we are in our control. But really, we are just pitiful! If this is where you are sweet friend, you don’t realize your true situation. You have no spiritual strength. You think you are doing well, but in fact you are in tremendous danger of being far away from God. I know this because of my own spiritual failures and past waywardness at times. However, the good news is that God loves us dearly and will always be ready to embrace us when we wake up from our spiritual slumber. In verses 15 and 16 of Revelations chapter 3, Jesus tells the Laodiceans their actions indicate their spiritual complacency. When people are truly moved by something, they take action. If you love your family, you will work hard to support them and meet their needs. If  you have ambition for power, if not careful, you will be ruthless in pursuing it. If a child is trapped in a burning building, a mother will do everything she can to save her child. A true believer, will not be able to stay in a place of complacency very long. The Lord wills it that way. He knows that His children can only rebel for so long and at some point they will return to Him. Why? Because upon salvation, God places His Spirit inside them. He promises that His Holy Spirit will lead them into all truth, guiding them as they walk through life and seals them until the day of redemption. No one can remove that seal, no one! A true believer will sense that complacency in their lives and will be convicted by the Spirit of God to repent and turn back. If that does not happen in a person’s life, they will need to rethink and work out their salvation according to God’s Word. However, to the child of God, Jesus says, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.” If we could save ourselves by our good works and deeds, or our great motives or any other means, we would not need a Savior. But since we can’t save ourselves, we must surrender to the One who does save, and when we do, we will have the desire that only He gives to want to serve Him and live for Him. The book of James tells us that Faith without works is dead. No good! Ephesians tells us that, it is by God’s grace that we can be saved, through our faith and nothing from ourselves, for it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast. Today sweet friend, take a moment and gage your spiritual walk. How is your relationship with God? Draw neigh to Him and He will draw neigh to you! Jesus is the way to God. No man comes to the Father but by Him.

Hold Fast,

Bren

How’s Your Spiritual Walking Going?

When I became a Christian, at first I did not know what “walking in the Spirit” meant. As a matter of fact, there were many things about my new spiritual life and future that I had no idea about. However, there was one thing that I knew for sure. I knew that whatever I now had, I did not have before, and that was the desire to know God better. As I began to study God’s word, the Bible became more clear to me, as I took my spiritual knife and began to cut into the Bread of life and break it off piece by piece, mentally ingesting it into my daily life.  Galatians 5:16 says, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh”. That verse is telling us not, to walk as our flesh dictates for us to, but rather to be controlled by God’s Spirit that dwells within the child of God. Once a person receives Christ into their hearts, their old ways of living ceases to exist and God gives them a new life to start over in. Yes, a person can begin again, start over. While they may have to deal with the consequences of their past sins form that point on, they can live in peace knowing that they have been forgiven. Once a person gets born again, they actually become a new person, a new creation. The old person that they were disappears and the new person is free to live, to love and obey God requires them to. That person now sees and knows that something has truly happened to them that they cannot explain, yet they know, that they know, they have been forgiven and made new; and because they know there is a difference from the old life to their new life, it simply urges them to live differently, having new desires that compel them to obedience to God.

If, a person does not experience a new change and they continue to live in the same state that they were in prior to asking Christ to forgive them and save them, the scripture describes them as being deceived. If there is no change, there must have been no real repentance. For true repentance brings change. Living in the Spirit and walking in the Spirit are two different things. You cannot have Christ come into your life and have no heart change concerning sin. Galatians 5:25 says, “If we live in the spirit, let us also walk in the spirit”. If one is in (lives) the Spirit, let him walk in therein. Like a new born baby learns to crawl and then walk, drink milk before they take on solid foods, so the child of God must follow that same process. Walking does not come automatically, it takes time and effort. But nevertheless, the true child of God craves the things of God and to do His will. As they seek God by learning about Him and obeying Him, they began to grow and walk in Him. Being saved allows a person the right to become the children of God. As they walk in the truth that is shown to them by and through the power of God’s Holy Spirit and the Word of God, their new spiritual inclination is to walk deeper and talk to him on a deeper level, and when that happens God is honored and walks with them. I John 2:6 says, “Whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” The Christian life is a life of progression, but once a believe understands that the new life they now live, is actually, a life that they no longer live, but a life the Christ lives in and through them, then they will understand what it really means to walk in the Spirit! How is your walking today sweet friend?

Loving on you today,

Bren

As A Thief In The Night

“But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.” II Peter 3:10. Sometimes, we all need to be reminded of things that we may once have read about, been taught or studied on, but have since forgotten. However, many passages in the Bible serve as warnings and reminders to us about the activities and plans that God has not only for our lives, but for the entire world that we live in. II Peter 3:10 is one of those passages that serves as a “post-it note” reminder to us about some of the activities that God has planned for the future of the world that He created. We would be wise to redeem the time that we have with eternity’s values in our view and in doing so, evaluate ourselves in our thoughts and deeds comparing our actions to the Word of God as our guide. The scriptures teach us that in the last days of the church age, false teachers will deny Christ’s return to the earth. These teachers will say that since nothing like His coming has happened before, there is no reason to expect it in the future. Yet, Peter details the facts in II Peter 3:10 by telling us that at the close of the day, God will destroy the present heavens and earth. However, when we park our minds and stay focused on either the past or the future, we waste precious energy and attention on what should be the more important things at hand. Those things are what we are doing now, in reference to changing our past and working on improving our futures. Our only task while on this earth, is to know Him better and use every opportunity we are given, to do those things that honor and glorify Him before our time has come to an end here. God delays His judgment because He is concerned for the salvation of mankind. Refusing the gift of salvation is by their own admission, their response to God, that they do not accept His plan for them. The day of reckoning is at hand and today is the day for salvation to those that are convicted in their hearts by the Holy Spirit under the mighty and strong hand of the living God, to surrender and turn to Him. Am I saying be saved today because the world will end tomorrow? No, not at all. What I am saying though is this: “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” Matthew 24:36, “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.” Matthew 25:13, For He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” 2 Corinthians 6:2, “Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” James 4:14. “As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man. Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left. “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. Matthew 24:37-44

Hold Fast,

Bren

Until His Purpose Is Accomplished In Your Trial

In my own trials and tribulations, I’ve about come to understand that a lot of my struggling in them, is not so much about them coming, but about when they will be leaving. I have through the years learned that, it is best to embrace them and learn from them the truth that they are trying to teach me as it comes to me directly from the hand of God, be it trail or test; least I make myself more miserable in trying to fight against them. Now days, I am more apt to ask “When Lord”, when will this thing end and what will the outcome be and not be so fretful that it has come. Walking by faith and resting in the promises of God is never easy but it is a must for the Believer! If we know what the Word of God has to say to us about our trials, we really should not have a lot of questions concerning them. We should know what God has promised to do in us though them and that His intentions are to bring good out of any trial that touches our life and rest in that truth. Still so often, we hold on to or become burdened with the “when” part. We ask, “When will we be on the other side of this or that trial, Lord?” and wonder, “when will God be finished?”. While we know this thing will pass, we still question and wonder when will it pass, that’s what our hearts are longing to know. Job 23:10-12 says this…But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold. My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food. Job found out for himself that there are seasons of trials. They come and they will go and he assures that there will be an afterwards to the things that we will go through as well, so hold on there’s going to be an end to this trouble, he encourages. God is watching your life and at some point in your trial, He will say enough. That moment may be crystal clear to you or you may realize it one day as you are looking back over it and realize that it is gone and you are even unaware of its passing. You now can only see it in the rearview mirror of your mind, a passing memory of it. Whether for weeks or months or years, every trial lasts for its appointed time. When you are undergoing a trial sweet friend, it may seem unending, but remember this, there is a limit, an expiration date already stamped on it. You have only to find its purpose and make the changes that need to be made in order to bring it to its end as quickly as possible. Your trials can even be in the nature of being be caught up in someone else’s storm and you may need simply to endure it, by riding it out. Trials come for various reasons. Not always out of discipline, because of some sin. Often times trials may and do come from a wrong choice that is made. But we must pray over and determine for ourselves the purpose of them. Psalm 30:5 reminds us, “For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” And know that Hebrews 12:11 tell us that “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant…” Job’s assurance can be ours today. So, do as he did, get under it and don’t waste any of it. The sooner we learn what we need to learn from it, the sooner the Lord will bring us out of it. Your painful season is going to come to an end, but until it does, endure, endure, till you get there and remember this, God’s timing is always perfect. When we are in the middle of a trial we must realize that we have to accept God’s time frames by our faith and trust in Him, because our human tendency is to bail out at the first opportunity of it coming on. Stay there friend and don’t move, until His purpose is accomplished in your trial! Look and see His purpose in it! Let’s pray, “continue to teach us Lord, and help us to stay still under the weight of this thing! Yes Lord, slap dab in the middle, until You have accomplished your purpose in us, through them”. Loving on you today! -Bren

BREAKING GOD’S HEART

There is no greater pain in my life than the pain of feeling God’s heart break over my sin. My wounding Him is greater than I can bear and only His children are allowed to see that part of His nature. Why couldn’t God just let Jesus die to pay for our sins, why did He have to suffer the brutality that He did? In Israel, the practice of sacrificing innocent animals for one’s sins was part of the law.  When a person acknowledged his sin or trespass, he would bring a clean animal such as a lamb, bull or goat to be sacrificed on his behalf  according to the Laws given to them in Leviticus 4-5.  However, before offering the animal, the person would lay his hands on it and confess his sins, laying his sins upon the animal represented their personal sin passing to the animal so that it could serve as a sacrifice to pay for that individual’s sins.

In the sacrifice of Jesus, they were not coming to confess their sins to God. But, they were sinners who were unaware that they were laying their sins upon the very Son of God by whipping, beating, bruising and piercing His body according to Isiah 53:5 “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by his wounds we are healed”. God’s truly unsearchable love for us is revealed in that Jesus was willing, and God the Father was willing, to allow our sins to be laid upon Him. The punches, the beating and ripping of His flesh, the thorns in the head, the mocking, the spitting upon, the whipping and scourging, the rejection, the cries for His death and all the horror of His final hours were necessary to lay upon Him the sins of all mankind.  That is the picture! There we see in this, the violence of our own sins upon the life of one who was innocent. With every stroke of violence that was laid upon Him there is a reminder to us of the violent nature of our own personal individual sin.  “Scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5:7-8. By bearing our sins, He made it possible for us to be free from sin, guilt, shame and fear.  By taking upon Himself the violence of our sins, He freed us from the effects of sin which ultimately result in eternal death and separation from God. Romans 6:23.

As much as God loves me, He hates any sin in my life no matter how great or how small with a holy, burning hatred that I cannot comprehend. And while He does love me, the only way that He can embrace me on a personal level or for me to come to Him, was to take His own hatred for my sin and make someone else pay for it according to Romans 5:1. Yet, it couldn’t be just anyone it had to be someone perfect, and since there was no one else to do it, He came Himself. That’s the Gospel, the whole story. I broke the law, He extended to me His grace and mercy that covers my sin, allows forgiveness and repairs what I myself broke. “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

The Scripture urges us all to “examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith” 2 Cor. 13:5. A great place to start, is to consider His own words, “My sheep hear my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 Jesus knows that I can’t follow Him flawlessly, even though I should and that I will make mistakes. Yet in spite of that, He invites me to follow Him anyway and provides me with His constant presence to keep watch over me and help me do that which I are incapable of doing on my own. He has called me out of sin and that means that I am no longer to be a part of the sins of my past. I have chosen to allow God to drive out the things in me that break His heart. The old in me has gone and I am embracing the new life that the cross affords me upon my accepting Christ into my life and the work that He did on my behalf.  “And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12

Why did Jesus have to suffer?  He had to suffer to make you and me whole.  He had to be broken down so we could be built up.  He had to be slain so that we could have eternal life.  He took upon Himself all the devastating effects of sin with all its violence so that you and I could know the peace of forgiveness and the joy of salvation.  His sacrifice for us is the proof of how truly valuable we are to Him. That is why it pains me so to break His heart. Do you hear His voice today sweet friend? Sheep recognize their shepherd’s voice because they know him. He treats and loves those that are His, like a perfect shepherd does, even though they are not perfect sheep. Embrace the gift that He is offering you today sweet friend! Embrace the cross, His purpose for your life!

Loving on you,

Bren

ADVICE TO MOMS STRUGGLING TO UNDERSTAND THEIR TEENS AND PRETEENS

This is part of a chain of emails that I sent to a mother who had been coming to me for advice in dealing with a young preteen daughter. She felt alone and in need of support over some changes that her young daughter was going through, in which neither she, not her daughter understood. I hope that it helps you as well sweet friend, as you may find yourself walking in her shoes today or in the near future!

Our children for the most part feel their emotions one at a time. So, when things are good, they’re very good, and they adore us. But when things don’t go their way, they can easily mistake the situation and feel that life is bad, and that their parents, siblings, teachers and others are bad and may very well lash out hurtful words at us. Sometimes, those words can throw us for a loop, like in the case of the young daughter that this letter is referring to, who in anger was telling her Mom that she hated her, and that nobody loved her. When what she really meant was that, she was not being loved or shown the kind of love that she wanted at that moment, and felt that only a certain kind of attention could make her feel better and loved. She simply did not know the difference between the kind of love that God is trying to teach her through your training her. This is a prime example of how we adults can treat God. When God is good to us, we love Him and favor Him with our affections. However, when things do not go our way, we blame God and accuse Him of not loving us. Get the picture? It is very important to teach our children the difference between steadfast love and selfish love. While there are typically four types of love, it is important that we teach our children to have God’s love, which is Agape love and is an unconditional love which gives and expects nothing in return and is the kind of love that God teaches His children to have in I Corinthians 13 toward everyone.

This kind of love teaches them to love us and others even when they are angry at us and do not understand at their moments of discontent, the reasoning for why they may be going through those emotions. Teach them that their feelings comes from their emotions and these are simply life lessons, and we must all learn from them at some point, in order to become healthy adults. It is also up to the parent to determine what kind of attention their child may be in need of at any given time in their life. Below are parts of the email that I sent her:

Remember that your daughter is still learning to manage her emotions. She needs help expressing her feelings, and her way of asking for help is to play a kind of emotional charade type game with others or you, for the most part. She acts out her feelings, and it’s up to you to figure out what she’s getting at and how to help her. The best way to do this is to name and acknowledge her emotions without judging them. If she says she hates you, then ask her why and how you can help her feel better about you. Work hard at trying to achieve her request unless they are simply unreasonable. Help her voice her feelings in a more appropriate way like “When you feel this way, use your words to tell me, “I feel angry. Please help me Mom, I am feeling so angry at you or someone else”…help her see her options. Remember she does not have the experience that you do in life to draw on and is living in the moment.

Although her verbal assaults can be hurtful, do your best not to take them personally. After all, she’s merely copying what she’s seen you and others do in many situations. That is, she is merely translating a strong emotion into the simple words that she can best describe how she is feeling at the time. Most importantly, remind yourself that her behavior is for the most part very normal, and in no way indicates how she really feels about you. Sometimes, those reactions from her may indicate that she is responding from rebellion against what her will does not want to do and so she acts out in the best way that she knows may be hurtful to you. Making hard decisions for her against her own judgment and what she may want verses what you know she needs is always best for her at the end of the day…and one day she will realize that. Every child, no matter who they are will at some point use some type of  inflammatory language like this when they’re genuinely upset but don’t have the tools to express themselves precisely. You are not alone, all parents face this! Remind her that everyone gets upset occasionally, but it’s not all right to take it out on someone else, because that will only make it harder on herself. She needs to know that her wrong reactions only hurts herself for the most part.

If she declares that she hates you when you discipline her, don’t up the ante by letting her know that she is hurting you, or you might be teaching her that she can push your buttons, and this gives her too much emotional control over you. Try to remain calm to show her that you’re the one in complete command of the situation, and why what she says is hurtful, she will not be allowed to change your love for her by anything hurtful she may say to you.  Also resist the urge to tell her in the middle of a screaming fit that she doesn’t really mean “hate” because this will demonstrate that her word choice has power and she’ll use it again and again. Later, when things have settled down, you might explain that “I’m angry” or “I’m disappointed” are better alternatives to how she feels other than the word hate, there is a difference. You can reach out and bring her back to you. You can offer a welcome connection to you and stay with her until she can feel you there again. Remind her of what God’s word has to say about hating someone. Hang in there until your caring gets through to her.

For her friendships, she may struggle all through school with that and that is very normal. One day they love their best friend and the next day they want nothing to do with them. Again, they are basing their feelings on emotions and not on Agape love which is a learned thing. Most of the time this happens when kids have low self-esteems and you can work with her to build that up in her life. But only she can make the decision to overcome it. Remember, that typically comes from emotion as well. As long as she is up… she is fine, but when she is down, she is really down, Her genetics and personality play a huge roll in that. Some children struggle more with it than others, but that does not mean something is wrong with them. Time, growth and upbringing will determine that inmost cases. Brothers and sisters fight, that is just what they do. Different personalities and ages play a large role and siblings often see themselves as rivals, competing for equal share of their family’s resources and parental attention. Mine did and yours will too. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, but it can drive us parents crazy. The key to helping limit their disputes is to know when to let your kids work out their problems themselves and when to step in and play referee. While telling each other that they hate the other should never be accepted, it is also normal in family life, as tension builds in one or the other. The same principles apply to them, as they do the parent. It’s all about conflict. Find the root of the conflict and you will find the answer to the problem. They must learn that life is going to be bumpy and they must learn how to navigate through them. Teach them to respond to negative things that enter their life with positive attitudes and feelings my learning to apply the Word of God to their situation. You may need to work on that in your personal life as well. But remember, it will be up to them to work it out in themselves. Give them time, plenty of time to learn. As a matter of fact, it may take a lifetime for our children to learn the things that we have tried to teach them. But never give up hope….never ever!

I hope this helps in some way….my advice only comes through my own experiences of trial and error and practicing what God has made known to me through His word. But in them, I have learned some good stuff! It is very hard to pinpoint someone’s problems when you are not around them or have never met them; and while I make no claims to be a psychologist, according to the authority of the scripture, I claim only to teach younger women by and through my own pain and life experiences according to Titus 2:3-5. While I do not know every detail of your situation or your home life in this particular situation, for the most part of what you have describe to me, I am glad to say that it is very normal. Most parents feel the way you do because they are in the beginning stages of raising their children and have not got to the other side, to see that in fact, those were very normal feelings. I would say that the fact that she is talking to you at all about her negative feelings indicates, that she herself is unhappy with the things she says and feels, so let her work through them. But for the things that you indicated to me she is saying, I can assure you are very normal in children. She is in that moment that I was referring to in the beginning of my emails, of reacting to her emotions in a moment of discontent.

However, if you see or feel that she is truly suffering from depression by all means, you may need to seek help for her. Sometimes a church staff can provide the kind of counseling she may need. What counseling education that I got in college and through Bible courses through the years, they have helped me tremendously in the rearing of my own children and in my reaching out to others in personal counseling, but it was my experiences in life that proved to be a much better teacher. I have found that child rearing never really goes away, it only changes in the life of your children. As hard as we worked to do the right things and the sacrifices that my husband and I made through the years in raising our children we found that our disappointments ran parallel to the joys. I can assure you that most of her feelings are very normal, but you must do what you feel is best for her sake. Remember, the enemy is at work against you to distort your every effort in striving to train your children according to Proverbs 22:6. So keep seeking God’s will in her life as well as your own! With God, all things are possible and He is able in every situation that you will be forced to face!

Loving on you,

Bren

 

DESPERATE FOR GOD

How desperate for God are you? You may feel as though you have it all together spiritually and see no further need to know more about Him and if so, you are wrong. We are all sinfully desperate for God, all  the time! When we seek after God and He reveals truth to us through His Word, (which is His main line of communication to us) the revelation does not lead us to an encounter with Him, but the revelation itself is an encounter with God. As He is revealing truth to us, at that very moment, we are sitting directly in His presence as we are confronted with His Truth. God uses His Word to lead us into all truth and being in that truth is being in the very presence of the living God. Have you ever been in His presence? Are you wanting God to speak to you? If so, then you must make every effort that you can, to be in His Word. For apart from His Word, you will never know His presence. Can God speak to you apart from His written Word? You better believe He can! But He teaches us to seek Him through His Word. In seeking Him there, you will find His presence.

If you have been born again, then the very Spirit of God dwells in you and will lead you to His Word, where you will find Him. There you will see everything that will ever touch your life, in light of His truth. The Holy Spirit will make the will of God known to you through His Word and when He does, you must take that truth and immediately adjust your life to it. Your faith is the vehicle that will lead you to encountering God, for without faith, it is impossible to please Him. It is not a concept, precept or philosophy, but a Person that you are adjusting your life to. It is the very person of God Himself, that you are making your adjustments to. Everything else, God’s precepts, His concepts, His philosophy…every need you have and everything about Him, is all wrapped up and found in His “Person”, and that my friend is what and whom you should be seeking, the very “Person of God Himself”. Jesus set the example for us, when He said, “The world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what the Father has commanded Me.” John 14:31 Jesus demonstrated His love for God by His obedience and don’t think for a minute that God will not, nor does not expect anything different from us. The reward for loving God by our obedience is that He will show Himself to us. If today sweet friend, you have never encountered God, begin now to seek Him with your whole heart, He will not turn you away, if you are sincere. Seek Him and don’t give up until you find Him. If you know Him, yet feel far away from the relationship that you once had with Him, He is still there, it was not Him who moved away. Begin now to pray for restoration, and get back into His Word and as you do earnestly, you will begin to rekindle the flame of enthusiasm that you once had and as you do, the darkness from your turning away will be diminished and the light will grow stronger and you will begin to see more clearer upon spiritual matters once again!

Be Strong, Keep the Faith and never, ever give up!

Loving on you today,

Bren

THE CROSS

The cross. What is it really? Today it is depicted as something common. Department stores are full of merchandise that has been plastered with its symbol across it , from T-shirts to car tags. Jewelers have pounded it into all sorts of finery for us to adorn ourselves and wear. It has become big business and brought much profit to those who have reaped from its economic benefits. But it was never intended to be a lucky trinket or some type of decorative decor. The cross of Christ is not to be profaned by being used as some form of good luck. Wearing it or hanging it in our homes does not bring us good luck, nor does it make us more spiritual in the eyes of God, because we proudly display or advertise to others by our demonstrating some form spirituality with it. Before Jesus died on the cross, it represented one thing to humanity, a monstrous repulsive instrument of death. When Jesus accomplished salvation’s plan by His death on the cross and His resurrection from the grave, that old rugged, nasty cross now represents the Grace of God to all mankind. Jesus’ victory over death removed the shame of the cross and made it beautiful and glorious. Everything God wants man to know about Him comes together in those cross beams of His only Son’s suffering.

What was Jesus doing on the cross those six hours, stretched out against the sky? He was thinking about you and me. He had made His mind up in the garden the night before to go through with it, knowing that only He and the Father truly fathomed what was about to transpire over the next few days. There is much more to the death of Jesus on the cross than the visible suffering, terrible pain and private unseen suffering, and the incredible public shame and disgrace of such a horrible death for the Son of God and One who was completely innocent and underserving of what He was to endure.

In his letter to the Colossians, Paul tells us about some invisible events taking place outside of this physical realm that we see and outside of our ordinary space and time during the time that Jesus was dying on the cross, he says, …in Jesus all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were estranged and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and irreproachable before him. Col. 1:19-22 He also met fully the broadside of the demonic world, fallen angels, and all the power of evil forces as well, disarming them all completely and guarantying satan’s final destruction in Revelation 5:1-7.

After the cross, the next event in eternity for humanity was Jesus’ return to reenter His body in the tomb just before dawn on Easter morning. When contemplating what the cross really represents in the divine transaction between God the Father and God the Son, in an eternal perspective, Jesus who had known no sin had to suffer the revulsion and destruction of being changed from a perfect man into a loathsome, repulsive creature loaded down with mine and your and yes, the sin of the world, so that even God could not look upon Him. Yes, that was the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for me and you. He was willing to go through Psalm 22 as predicted earlier in scripture to restore what satan and man had destroyed through sin. God must and had to punish that sin and the only way, was that Christ suffer our punishment as a substitute and bear the full weight of the eternal separation from God, that Divine Justice demands and we deserve. God’s kindness on the cross is meant to lead us to repentance and how great is that kindness, never to be mocked, misunderstood nor taken for granted, but it is however; all the time. Yet, John 3:16 reminds us that, For God so loved us, that He gave us His only Son.  Yes, God demonstrated his love for us that while we were yet sinners, God sent Jesus to the cross to die for us and that those who accept and receive what He did, may reap the benefits of that great sacrifice; even to those that parade its image but have no understanding or idea as to its real purpose. I hope today that the next time you see a cross, it will have a deeper meaning than it ever did before.

Loving on you,                                                                                                                                                                                         Bren